I wrote some of these songs in my folk singing days in Liverpool in the late 1960s/early 1970s (tracks 3, 5 and 7).The others were written between late 2006 and August 2007. All were recorded at home in Bartestree using a 4 track digital recorder, the final mixes being transferred to a PC for recording onto CD-Rs.
I'd like to thank the people and places that inspired the songs, and took/appear in the various photographs I have used.
Here are some notes and the lyrics.
I'd like to thank the people and places that inspired the songs, and took/appear in the various photographs I have used.
Here are some notes and the lyrics.
The Place I Was Born
Liverpool -
I love going back to the place I was born
It gives me a thrill every time
As I drive into town and see all those sights
That used to be covered in grime
I drive through the streets that I once knew so well
In the years before I left this town
The memories come back and my cheek’s feeling damp
It’s just a small tear trickling down
Now I live so far away
And I know I’ll never come back to stay
When I'm out of the car and I’m walking the streets
I can hear that great accent all round
The hairs on my neck start to tingle as I
Feel the pull of this wonderful town
The pubs are all full of the rough and the smooth
And I listen to what people say
They use different words and they say different things
But it’s the same as it was in my day
Now I live so far away
And I know I’ll never come back to stay
The trams have all gone and the buses aren’t green
And the stations just aren’t the same
The ferry does cruises, there’s a king and a queen
And the airport’s got a new name
Rio and Boston, Hong Kong and New York
Their waterfronts shiny and new
Make me stop and stare but they cannot compare
With Liverpool’s riverside view
Now I live so far away
And I know I’ll never come back to stay
I love going back to the place I was born
It gives me a thrill every time
As I drive into town and see all those sights
That used to be covered in grime
I drive through the streets that I once knew so well
In the years before I left this town
The memories come back and my cheek’s feeling damp
It’s just a small tear trickling down
Now I live so far away
And I know I’ll never come back to stay
When I'm out of the car and I’m walking the streets
I can hear that great accent all round
The hairs on my neck start to tingle as I
Feel the pull of this wonderful town
The pubs are all full of the rough and the smooth
And I listen to what people say
They use different words and they say different things
But it’s the same as it was in my day
Now I live so far away
And I know I’ll never come back to stay
The trams have all gone and the buses aren’t green
And the stations just aren’t the same
The ferry does cruises, there’s a king and a queen
And the airport’s got a new name
Rio and Boston, Hong Kong and New York
Their waterfronts shiny and new
Make me stop and stare but they cannot compare
With Liverpool’s riverside view
Now I live so far away
And I know I’ll never come back to stay
I love going back to the place I was born
Old Fashioned
An opportunity for me to be grumpy about some of the sillier ‘fashions’.
An opportunity for me to be grumpy about some of the sillier ‘fashions’.
You’re standing there with streaks in your hair
High cropped top and low cropped jeans
Standing there with your stomach all bare
Don’t you think it’s a little obscene
Are you proud of the thong poking out at the back
At the front a fat roll of belly
Hanging over your belt like a loosely filled sack
Wobbles just like an apricot jelly
You must know everyone will suppose
That you think that almost anything goes
With those rings in your ears and one in your nose
And that colour you’ve painted your toes
Haven’t you noticed your jeans are ripped
Take them back to the shop and complain
And while you’re there get your finger nails cut
Before they cause someone some pain
You must know .......
Why wear those sunglasses on top of your head
When they make you look such a fool
You’ve got one shoulder covered and the other one bare
It makes you look tepid not cool
You must know .......
I really don’t know what’s come over you
But I know I don’t like what I see
You dress like a mess - your hair looks daft too
And tomorrow you'll be sixty three
High cropped top and low cropped jeans
Standing there with your stomach all bare
Don’t you think it’s a little obscene
Are you proud of the thong poking out at the back
At the front a fat roll of belly
Hanging over your belt like a loosely filled sack
Wobbles just like an apricot jelly
You must know everyone will suppose
That you think that almost anything goes
With those rings in your ears and one in your nose
And that colour you’ve painted your toes
Haven’t you noticed your jeans are ripped
Take them back to the shop and complain
And while you’re there get your finger nails cut
Before they cause someone some pain
You must know .......
Why wear those sunglasses on top of your head
When they make you look such a fool
You’ve got one shoulder covered and the other one bare
It makes you look tepid not cool
You must know .......
I really don’t know what’s come over you
But I know I don’t like what I see
You dress like a mess -
And tomorrow you'll be sixty three
The Breathalyser
From my Liverpool days -
In nineteen hundred and sixty seven
The police were given a brand new weapon
A polythene bag with a tube in the end
Designed to make them the motorists’ friend
This plan of campaign was spread through the force
‘Look for a car on an unsteady course
Chase it and make the driver pull in
Give him a bag and say to him
‘Blow, sir, blow
I just want to know
If you’ve been drinking over the limit
So blow, sir, blow’
If the crystals stay yellow then he’s OK
But if they turn green then you must say
‘I’m sorry sir you’ll have to come in
We’ll want some blood or a little urine’
Blow, sir, blow ...
Take him down to the station as fast as you can
And hand him over to the doctor man
If he says he’s had too much beer
We'll stop him driving for a year
Blow, sir, blow ...
Don’t throw used bags away
Save them up day by day
We’ll give a prize to the very first team
To collect forty shades of green
Blow, sir, blow ...
Be serious about this new job boys
These polythene bags are not just toys
They're to stop people driving when they've had too much booze
So remember the phrase you've got to use
Blow, sir, blow ...
The police were given a brand new weapon
A polythene bag with a tube in the end
Designed to make them the motorists’ friend
This plan of campaign was spread through the force
‘Look for a car on an unsteady course
Chase it and make the driver pull in
Give him a bag and say to him
‘Blow, sir, blow
I just want to know
If you’ve been drinking over the limit
So blow, sir, blow’
If the crystals stay yellow then he’s OK
But if they turn green then you must say
‘I’m sorry sir you’ll have to come in
We’ll want some blood or a little urine’
Blow, sir, blow ...
Take him down to the station as fast as you can
And hand him over to the doctor man
If he says he’s had too much beer
We'll stop him driving for a year
Blow, sir, blow ...
Don’t throw used bags away
Save them up day by day
We’ll give a prize to the very first team
To collect forty shades of green
Blow, sir, blow ...
Be serious about this new job boys
These polythene bags are not just toys
They're to stop people driving when they've had too much booze
So remember the phrase you've got to use
Blow, sir, blow ...
I Hate You
More grumpiness.
I hate you Gatso, for what you’ve done
You caught me speeding and spoiled my fun
Now I’ve got a record for breaking the law
That didn’t happen when I broke it before
I hate you Gordon, you grasping git
You’ve taken my money and squandered it
You promised improvement but it’s all got worse
You just made a dent in wallet and purse
I hate New Tory, what are you for?
I wonder if you can show Labour the door
You’ll have to show you’ll do something real
Let’s have some policies, not just sex appeal
Oh David Beckham, what can I say
I know you’re good at the game you play
But the celebrity stuff, it’s a load of rot
Or am I just jealous of what you've got?
I hate you George Bush, for making war
And now it seems you are looking for more
You gave your nation a dirty name
And you took us with you to your deadly game
I hate the people who cause jealousy
By trying to seem better than you and me
Pushing the image of those who have got
And causing resentment in those who have not
You caught me speeding and spoiled my fun
Now I’ve got a record for breaking the law
That didn’t happen when I broke it before
I hate you Gordon, you grasping git
You’ve taken my money and squandered it
You promised improvement but it’s all got worse
You just made a dent in wallet and purse
I hate New Tory, what are you for?
I wonder if you can show Labour the door
You’ll have to show you’ll do something real
Let’s have some policies, not just sex appeal
Oh David Beckham, what can I say
I know you’re good at the game you play
But the celebrity stuff, it’s a load of rot
Or am I just jealous of what you've got?
I hate you George Bush, for making war
And now it seems you are looking for more
You gave your nation a dirty name
And you took us with you to your deadly game
I hate the people who cause jealousy
By trying to seem better than you and me
Pushing the image of those who have got
And causing resentment in those who have not
Come to My Stately Home
Another from the (pre-
Come, come, come to my stately home
And see the rhododendrons, the finest ever grown
And the bed where Charles the first slept and his temporary throne
Come, come, come to my stately home
Come, come, come to my stately home
You enter through magnificent gates then down the tree-lined drive
Past the 15th century building then at the car park you arrive
Come, come, come to my stately home
Come, come, come to my stately home
Two bob each and the same for the car, that’s all you have to pay
Please don’t touch, keep off the grass, I hope you enjoy your day
Come, come, come to my stately home
Come, come, come to my stately home
You’ll have to buy a guide book, it’s only half a crown
It includes a map of the whole estate, you can find your own way round
Come, come, come to my stately home
Come, come, come to my stately home
See the 15th century building, rebuilt ten years ago
In its newly landscaped gardens it makes an impressive show
Come, come, come to my stately home
Come, come, come to my stately home
Inside the beautiful building make sure you do not miss
The blue room and the red room and the room where they used to hang their weapons
Come, come, come to my stately home
Come, come, come to my stately home
We have a secret passage like all the best homes do
Unfortunately you can’t see it, so come and see the zoo
Or the lions in my game reserve, and tigers and cheetahs too
Or try the miniature railway, I hope there’s not a queue
I’m very sorry ladies, there’s only one small loo
It’s not much to do with history but it makes a nice day for you
And money for yours truly
And see the rhododendrons, the finest ever grown
And the bed where Charles the first slept and his temporary throne
Come, come, come to my stately home
Come, come, come to my stately home
You enter through magnificent gates then down the tree-
Come, come, come to my stately home
Come, come, come to my stately home
Two bob each and the same for the car, that’s all you have to pay
Please don’t touch, keep off the grass, I hope you enjoy your day
Come, come, come to my stately home
Come, come, come to my stately home
You’ll have to buy a guide book, it’s only half a crown
It includes a map of the whole estate, you can find your own way round
Come, come, come to my stately home
Come, come, come to my stately home
See the 15th century building, rebuilt ten years ago
In its newly landscaped gardens it makes an impressive show
Come, come, come to my stately home
Come, come, come to my stately home
Inside the beautiful building make sure you do not miss
The blue room and the red room and the room where they used to hang their weapons
Come, come, come to my stately home
Come, come, come to my stately home
We have a secret passage like all the best homes do
Unfortunately you can’t see it, so come and see the zoo
Or the lions in my game reserve, and tigers and cheetahs too
Or try the miniature railway, I hope there’s not a queue
I’m very sorry ladies, there’s only one small loo
It’s not much to do with history but it makes a nice day for you
And money for yours truly
Secondary Smoke
1st July 2007 - no-smoking regulations came into force in the UK, some were already in place in parts of the country. Dave Ormandy told me he was surprised I hadn’t written a song about it - well, here it is - thanks to Dave for the prompt.
1st July 2007 -
I’m off in search of some secondary smoke
I know it seems odd but I’m that kind of bloke
It used to be easy in the good old days
To find a room that was filled with haze
But now we’ve decided to go smoke free
There’s no more satisfaction for me
I’ve got this secondary smoking withdrawal blues
Now they’ve taken away my right to choose
I’ve become a frustrated man ever since we had the ban
I’ve got this secondary smoking withdrawal blues
You probably think that I’m just having a joke
When I say that I enjoy second hand smoke
But I need it to keep me sane
And I don’t want to start smoking again
There were lots of smoke filled rooms to choose
But now they’ve gone I’ve got this smoke free blues
I’ve got this .....
Smoking used to be everywhere
But now we’re obsessed with smoke free air
No more ciggies in public places
Or pipes stuffed into happy faces
I can’t join the crowd at a building's door
Cos they're not allowed to smoke there anymore
I’ve got this ....
When out to eat I used to look for a table
By a man belching fumes as hard as he was able
Passive smoking was my game
Now since the ban it’s not the same
I’d enjoy smelling smoky from my hair to my shoes
But now I’ve got the smoke free blues
I’ve got this ...
Smoking hasn’t been completely banned
There's still some places it's allowed in this land
But a submarine is not for me
And jail’s not right for a man that’s free
Now it seems that thanks to ‘them’
I’m going to have to take up smoking again
I’ve got this ...
I know it seems odd but I’m that kind of bloke
It used to be easy in the good old days
To find a room that was filled with haze
But now we’ve decided to go smoke free
There’s no more satisfaction for me
I’ve got this secondary smoking withdrawal blues
Now they’ve taken away my right to choose
I’ve become a frustrated man ever since we had the ban
I’ve got this secondary smoking withdrawal blues
You probably think that I’m just having a joke
When I say that I enjoy second hand smoke
But I need it to keep me sane
And I don’t want to start smoking again
There were lots of smoke filled rooms to choose
But now they’ve gone I’ve got this smoke free blues
I’ve got this .....
Smoking used to be everywhere
But now we’re obsessed with smoke free air
No more ciggies in public places
Or pipes stuffed into happy faces
I can’t join the crowd at a building's door
Cos they're not allowed to smoke there anymore
I’ve got this ....
When out to eat I used to look for a table
By a man belching fumes as hard as he was able
Passive smoking was my game
Now since the ban it’s not the same
I’d enjoy smelling smoky from my hair to my shoes
But now I’ve got the smoke free blues
I’ve got this ...
Smoking hasn’t been completely banned
There's still some places it's allowed in this land
But a submarine is not for me
And jail’s not right for a man that’s free
Now it seems that thanks to ‘them’
I’m going to have to take up smoking again
I’ve got this ...
The Highwayman Undone
And another from my Liverpool days (written in 1975) - I remember performing this just the once and it was unaccompanied.
And another from my Liverpool days (written in 1975) -
A gentleman of high degree is what I once appeared to be
At the top of my profession I lived most comfortably
But then one day I was reduced unto my present state
The story of my downfall I will to you relate
By day I used to lie in wait upon the open road
And challenge those who travelled by and rob them of their gold
‘Come gentlemen and ladies, your money you must give
‘So hand it over to me now if you still wish to live’
By night I’d go into an inn and spend what I had gained
On food and beer and whiskey and, when in luck, a maid
When we had eaten and drunk our fill upstairs we would retire
And there I would complete the day with all that I desired
And then one night a man I’d robbed that day I did espy
A’drinking in the inn he was but I thought I’d missed his eye
So straight upstairs I did repair, all with this comely maid
Before long I forgot him as on the bed we played
And just as we had come unto the point of no return
I heard a sound behind me which caused my head to turn
The man I’d robbed was standing there, ‘revenge is sweet’ he said
And before I could protect myself he filled my rump with lead
Now most of the shot has been removed, but still I’m in great pain
And since that night, that fateful night, I’ve not sat down again
By day I stand, by night to sleep I on my belly lie
To petty thieving I’m reduced - I can no longer ride
So come all you brave young highwaymen, this warning take from me
When you are on the job take care to protect your rear
Or else you may be burdened with the same distress as me
And lead the rest of your life in pain and dreadful misery
At the top of my profession I lived most comfortably
But then one day I was reduced unto my present state
The story of my downfall I will to you relate
By day I used to lie in wait upon the open road
And challenge those who travelled by and rob them of their gold
‘Come gentlemen and ladies, your money you must give
‘So hand it over to me now if you still wish to live’
By night I’d go into an inn and spend what I had gained
On food and beer and whiskey and, when in luck, a maid
When we had eaten and drunk our fill upstairs we would retire
And there I would complete the day with all that I desired
And then one night a man I’d robbed that day I did espy
A’drinking in the inn he was but I thought I’d missed his eye
So straight upstairs I did repair, all with this comely maid
Before long I forgot him as on the bed we played
And just as we had come unto the point of no return
I heard a sound behind me which caused my head to turn
The man I’d robbed was standing there, ‘revenge is sweet’ he said
And before I could protect myself he filled my rump with lead
Now most of the shot has been removed, but still I’m in great pain
And since that night, that fateful night, I’ve not sat down again
By day I stand, by night to sleep I on my belly lie
To petty thieving I’m reduced -
So come all you brave young highwaymen, this warning take from me
When you are on the job take care to protect your rear
Or else you may be burdened with the same distress as me
And lead the rest of your life in pain and dreadful misery
Your Best Song
I don’t know where this song came from, nor who Annie is (maybe I’m Annie). I had wanted to write a song for Jan’s friend Ros but the inspiration didn’t come, so this song is for Ros instead.
Make this a special day for me
Chase the demons away for me
Take your guitar and play for me
Sing me your best song Annie
Take the pain away for me
Stop the wind and the rain for me
Make the sun shine again for me
Sing me your best song Annie
As I am sitting here
Your song is all I want to hear
I'll forget all the things that are wrong
They're all lost in the words of your song
Sing a four leaf clover for me
Paint the cliffs of Dover for me
The pain is nearly over for me
Sing me your best song Annie
Brighten up the days for me
Bring in the sun's bright rays for me
Lift this heavy haze for me
Sing me your best song Annie
As I am lying here
Your song is all I want to hear
I'll forget all the things that are wrong
They're all lost in the words of your song
Make this a special day for me
Chase the demons away for me
Take your guitar and play for me
Sing me your best song Annie
Chase the demons away for me
Take your guitar and play for me
Sing me your best song Annie
Take the pain away for me
Stop the wind and the rain for me
Make the sun shine again for me
Sing me your best song Annie
As I am sitting here
Your song is all I want to hear
I'll forget all the things that are wrong
They're all lost in the words of your song
Sing a four leaf clover for me
Paint the cliffs of Dover for me
The pain is nearly over for me
Sing me your best song Annie
Brighten up the days for me
Bring in the sun's bright rays for me
Lift this heavy haze for me
Sing me your best song Annie
As I am lying here
Your song is all I want to hear
I'll forget all the things that are wrong
They're all lost in the words of your song
Make this a special day for me
Chase the demons away for me
Take your guitar and play for me
Sing me your best song Annie
Maria
I had an idea to make a ‘cover’ version of each of the songs in ‘The Sound Of Music’ but only managed 4. This is the first
Have you seen Maria with the wonderful rear?
Have you followed her down the street?
Her cheeks all a-quiver like the tide in a river
As she totters on her high heeled feet
Have you followed her down the street?
Her cheeks all a-
Oh dear Maria, what can we do?
How can we solve a problem like you?
Do you fancy a bit of fun
Like going away to become a nun?
Have you seen Maria in her Friday night gear
Heading off for a night with her mates?
Her skirt as high as the top of her thighs
And war paint all over her face
Oh dear Maria .................
Have you seen Maria trying to steer
Her car in a straight line down the street?
Just one hand on the wheel, the other trying to feel
For the phone that she’s dropped behind the seat
Oh dear Maria .................
Have you seen Maria jumping up to cheer
And shout for her favourite football club?
In her drunken stupor she swears like a trooper
And she yells at the telly in the pub
Oh dear Maria .................
Have you seen Maria in her new career
A traffic warden patrolling her beat?
She looks so cute in her uniform suit
There’s wolf whistles all down the street
Oh dear Maria .................
How can we solve a problem like you?
Do you fancy a bit of fun
Like going away to become a nun?
Have you seen Maria in her Friday night gear
Heading off for a night with her mates?
Her skirt as high as the top of her thighs
And war paint all over her face
Oh dear Maria .................
Have you seen Maria trying to steer
Her car in a straight line down the street?
Just one hand on the wheel, the other trying to feel
For the phone that she’s dropped behind the seat
Oh dear Maria .................
Have you seen Maria jumping up to cheer
And shout for her favourite football club?
In her drunken stupor she swears like a trooper
And she yells at the telly in the pub
Oh dear Maria .................
Have you seen Maria in her new career
A traffic warden patrolling her beat?
She looks so cute in her uniform suit
There’s wolf whistles all down the street
Oh dear Maria .................
My Favourite Things
An opportunity for me to show my non-
A pint of Hook Norton, a plateful of chips
Chicken Madras that blisters my lips
Sushi and prime rib and Buffalo wings
These are a few of my favourite things
My favourite things that ease some of the pain
My favourite things that help me keep sane
Out on the town, drinking my fill
Liverpool 5 and Everton 0
The buzz of excitement that city life brings
These are a few of my favourite things
My favourite things ....
The music of Elgar, the peel of a bell
The start of the overture from William Tell
That magical feeling when Chuck Berry sings
These are a few of my favourite things
My favourite things ....
The sound of a Scout band as it comes down the street
The hypnotic effect of a Bo Diddley beat
Playing a guitar with a new set of strings
These are a few of my favourite things
My favourite things ....
To see the Black Mountains when they’ve turned to white
The Malvern Hills when the sun's shining bright
Lakes and rivers, streams and springs
These are a few of my favourite things
My favourite things ....
Long standing friendships, ‘Scouting For Boys’
Writing a song someone else might enjoy
Watching your children become human beings
These are a few of my favourite things
My favourite things ....
Chicken Madras that blisters my lips
Sushi and prime rib and Buffalo wings
These are a few of my favourite things
My favourite things that ease some of the pain
My favourite things that help me keep sane
Out on the town, drinking my fill
Liverpool 5 and Everton 0
The buzz of excitement that city life brings
These are a few of my favourite things
My favourite things ....
The music of Elgar, the peel of a bell
The start of the overture from William Tell
That magical feeling when Chuck Berry sings
These are a few of my favourite things
My favourite things ....
The sound of a Scout band as it comes down the street
The hypnotic effect of a Bo Diddley beat
Playing a guitar with a new set of strings
These are a few of my favourite things
My favourite things ....
To see the Black Mountains when they’ve turned to white
The Malvern Hills when the sun's shining bright
Lakes and rivers, streams and springs
These are a few of my favourite things
My favourite things ....
Long standing friendships, ‘Scouting For Boys’
Writing a song someone else might enjoy
Watching your children become human beings
These are a few of my favourite things
My favourite things ....
Do Ray Me
I had this idea months before the lyrics finally emerged.
I had this idea months before the lyrics finally emerged.
Do, Ray, Me, always together us three
We were always loud and always proud to show that three’s not a crowd
Some days we’d go to town and be happy just to hang around
Or walk the streets, I thought there'd always be Do Ray and me
Then there came a day when Do had gone away
I looked for her everywhere but Ray said she wasn't there
We didn’t go out any more, just spent our time indoors
Ray didn’t seem to know what to do now it was just us two
And then one sunny day, I went out again with Ray
We played a game, but non-one else came so it just wasn’t the same
We never got back to the way it was before Do went away
But I still looked forward to every day with just me and Ray
Then one terrible day, I just couldn't find Ray
He’d gone out to see his friend Jack but then he didn't come back
I was stuck in the house that night but then when it turned light
Men in uniform came to take me away but they didn’t say what happened to Ray
Now I’m with another family and they look after me
They take me out and laugh and shout as we all wonder about
But it’s not like with Do and Ray and Me in the good old days
I am just a dog you see and now there’s only Me
Wishing once again it could be
Like those days of memory
It’s not as good as it used to be
When it was Do Ray and Me
Do Ray and Me
Do Ray Me
- Ray Me
- - Me
We were always loud and always proud to show that three’s not a crowd
Some days we’d go to town and be happy just to hang around
Or walk the streets, I thought there'd always be Do Ray and me
Then there came a day when Do had gone away
I looked for her everywhere but Ray said she wasn't there
We didn’t go out any more, just spent our time indoors
Ray didn’t seem to know what to do now it was just us two
And then one sunny day, I went out again with Ray
We played a game, but non-
We never got back to the way it was before Do went away
But I still looked forward to every day with just me and Ray
Then one terrible day, I just couldn't find Ray
He’d gone out to see his friend Jack but then he didn't come back
I was stuck in the house that night but then when it turned light
Men in uniform came to take me away but they didn’t say what happened to Ray
Now I’m with another family and they look after me
They take me out and laugh and shout as we all wonder about
But it’s not like with Do and Ray and Me in the good old days
I am just a dog you see and now there’s only Me
Wishing once again it could be
Like those days of memory
It’s not as good as it used to be
When it was Do Ray and Me
Do Ray and Me
Do Ray Me
-
-
Climb Every Mountain
I’m OK walking along canal towpaths ....
I’m OK walking along canal towpaths ....
I’m fifteen stone and five foot ten, sixty years and counting
And I’m as strong as other men, I could climb every mountain
He’s fifteen stone and five foot ten, 60 years and counting
He’s not as strong as other men, he can’t climb any mountain
It’s a sunny day so I’ll give it a shot
And get myself out - or maybe not
I think it’s really far too hot
To tackle a mountain
I’m fifteen stone and five foot ten, sixty years and counting
And I’m as strong as other men, I could climb every mountain
He’s fifteen stone and five foot ten, 60 years and counting
He’s not as strong as other men, he can’t climb any mountain
It’s another day and I’m ready to go
I’ll check on the weather - oh look it’s snow
Better stay in today it’s too dangerous to go
And tackle a mountain
I’m fifteen stone and five foot ten, sixty years and counting
And I’m as strong as other men, I could climb every mountain
He’s fifteen stone and five foot ten, 60 years and counting
He’s not as strong as other men, he can’t climb any mountain
Now it’s time to take the strain
And get to grips with some rough terrain
Oh what a shame - it’s started to rain
Too wet to tackle a mountain
I’m fifteen stone and five foot ten, sixty years and counting
And I’m as strong as other men, I could climb every mountain
He’s fifteen stone and five foot ten, 60 years and counting
He’s not as strong as other men, he can’t climb any mountain
It’s not too hot, it’s not too cold
It’s the day for me to be strong and bold
So I’d better admit that I’m far too old
To tackle a mountain
He’s fifteen stone and five foot ten, 60 years and counting
He’s not as strong as other men, he can’t climb any mountain
And I’m as strong as other men, I could climb every mountain
He’s fifteen stone and five foot ten, 60 years and counting
He’s not as strong as other men, he can’t climb any mountain
It’s a sunny day so I’ll give it a shot
And get myself out -
To tackle a mountain
I’m fifteen stone and five foot ten, sixty years and counting
And I’m as strong as other men, I could climb every mountain
He’s fifteen stone and five foot ten, 60 years and counting
He’s not as strong as other men, he can’t climb any mountain
It’s another day and I’m ready to go
I’ll check on the weather -
And tackle a mountain
I’m fifteen stone and five foot ten, sixty years and counting
And I’m as strong as other men, I could climb every mountain
He’s fifteen stone and five foot ten, 60 years and counting
He’s not as strong as other men, he can’t climb any mountain
Now it’s time to take the strain
And get to grips with some rough terrain
Oh what a shame -
I’m fifteen stone and five foot ten, sixty years and counting
And I’m as strong as other men, I could climb every mountain
He’s fifteen stone and five foot ten, 60 years and counting
He’s not as strong as other men, he can’t climb any mountain
It’s not too hot, it’s not too cold
It’s the day for me to be strong and bold
So I’d better admit that I’m far too old
To tackle a mountain
He’s fifteen stone and five foot ten, 60 years and counting
He’s not as strong as other men, he can’t climb any mountain